Career Services Blog

"Scuse me, but you have a booger hanging out of your nose." The words cut through the tinny muzak piped through crappy elevator speakers like a hot knife through imitation butter. All attempts at conversation halted and I felt a shudder crawl up my spine. The only thought running through my head was: "I just taught a class of nearly 50 people. Please, please tell me I didn't have a booger hanging out of my nose the entire time!?!"
Fortunately, they weren't talking to me. Still, everyone in the crowded elevator looked at each other with exaggerated casualness and attempted to discreetly check our noses for any clingers, and then, just as awkwardly, attempted to check to see if there was, in fact, a bat in anyone else's bat cave.
There are two types of people in the world: those who want to know if they have spinach in their teeth and those who get mad at YOU for telling them they have green crud in their teeth. Being the type that wants to know if my zipper is down, I can't imagine not wanting to know if I'm twisting in the wind. But some people dread the thought of being recognized for making a mistake and would rather …. twist in the wind, so to speak.
Careerbuilder published the findings of an interesting survey about the willingness of workers to confront their officemates about a wide range of embarrassing actions. In a previous job I actually had the unpleasant task of having to tell a coworker about the need for regular showers and was a little surprised that only a quarter of the people surveyed would raise a stink over the issue. Here is what they found:

* Your zipper is undone.
Same level co-worker - 67 percent
Lower level co-worker - 62 percent
Higher level co-worker - 50 percent

* You have something in your nose.
Same level co-worker - 51 percent
Lower level co-worker - 46 percent
Higher level co-worker - 33 percent

* You have food in your teeth or on your face.
Same level co-worker - 66 percent
Lower level co-worker - 60 percent
Higher level co-worker - 49 percent

* Your hair is messy.
Same level co-worker - 33 percent
Lower level co-worker - 30 percent
Higher level co-worker - 13 percent

* You have a stain on your clothes.
Same level co-worker - 51 percent
Lower level co-worker - 47 percent
Higher level co-worker - 34 percent

* You need a breath mint.
Same level co-worker - 33 percent
Lower level co-worker - 29 percent
Higher level co-worker - 14 percent

* You need a shower.
Same level co-worker - 28 percent
Lower level co-worker - 28 percent
Higher level co-worker - 11 percent

* Your apparel is not appropriate for the office.
Same level co-worker - 32 percent
Lower level co-worker - 37 percent
Higher level co-worker - 10 percent

Early to bed may make a man healthy, wealthy, and wise but it doesn't make him more alert. Quality sleep is crucial for memory, alertness, and decision making but it turns out it's far better to stay up late burning the midnight oil than to jump out of bed at first light.
According to a study out of the University of Liege in Belgium, true-blue  early birds tend to lose altitude quicker than hardcore nite owls. Counter to what our moms told us about getting a full 8 hours of  sleep, the study found no difference in mental tasks designed to measure attention between the two after an hour of being kicked out of the nest at the same time. Moreover, the researchers found, after 10 hours of being awake, nite owls became more alert while early birds didn't.
Researchers attributed this trend to a boost in the brainpan from the nite owl's circadian clock (the internal mechanism that regulates our sense of sleep).  As the demand for sleep mounts, our brains shoot signals to stimulate alertness.  Think of it like kicking back a triple shot of espresso, straight to your brain. This last moment mental boost keeps us sharp until bedtime. In the study, early birds completely missed the brain boost that nite owls enjoyed. This means nite owls get an extra dosage of sharpness as the day wears on, guaranteeing them a little extra edge on their nite work.
But at what cost?
The downside is what happens if nite owls can't get enough shut eye? If sleep eludes them, they tend to fare far worse than early birds according to The Stanford Sleep Disorders Clinic in California.  The study found that nite owls burnt the midnight oil an hour or more longer than early risers and they also stayed in their nests longer. So while early birds may catch the worm, it turns out nite owls bring home the bacon, as long as they can get some sleep.

Check out this interactive map put out by Forbes. It tracks the unemployment rate for every county in the United States. The Highest: El Centro, California with a 28.7%. The lowest unemployment rate in the country is in Bismarck, North Dakota with 3.3%. Here are some of the figures a little closer to home:

Johnson County, Kansas: 6.4%
Wyandotte County, Kansas: 9.4%
Jackson County, Missouri: 10.9%
Platte County, Missouri: 8.4%
Clay County, Missouri: 8.7%

Is there a "Kick Me" sign on your back?

Workplace bullying is more widespread than sexual harassment according to a nonprofit organization called the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI). Research posted by the institute shows figures as high as 37% of US employees have been bullied compared to around 9% of US workers who have been sexually harassed. Bullying is murky in comparison to the boundaries of sexual harassment but the effects of either can be devastating.

The fallout of bullying can be emotionally devastating and, sometimes in extreme cases, even effect someone physically. "I could hear her heels clicking on the tiles as she walked closer and closer to my office door," reported a hospital technician bullied out of her office "with each step closer to my door I could feel my anxiety spike. After awhile I couldn't sleep, or eat, and was constantly out sick. It was killing me!"

Bullied workers often report: Being apprehensive to go to work, feeling anxious while at work, called to random and unscripted meetings where they are humiliated, finding themselves ostracized by coworkers, their personal or professional life under constant attack, treated differently than other workers, being monitored excessively, cursed or yelled at, find themselves the target of character assassination, evil gossip whispered behind their backs, being "talked down to" or addressed with a dismissive tone, and blamed without facts to back up accusations.

The Workplace Bullying Institute, ranks these behaviors as the most common strategies used by workplace bullies to carry out their dirty work.

1. Accusing someone of mistakes that were never made (71 percent).
2. Giving someone the stink eye or using aggressive body language (68 percent).
3. Disregarding a person's emotions or concerns ("oh, whatever!") in meetings (64 percent).
4. Giving the cold shoulder and then working to ostracize their victims from coworkers (64 percent).
5. Flying off the handle in front of others (61 percent).
6. Make up rules/regulations on the spot that even they refuse to follow (61 percent).
7. Turning a blind eye to jobs well done even when shown irrefutable evidence (58 percent).
8. Harshly and constantly talk trash on their target but treating others differently (57 percent).
9. Instigate, or didn't stop, destructive gossip about their target (56 percent).
10. Invite others to turn against their victim (55 percent).
11. Physically or socially ostracized the person (54 percent).
12. Take credit for others work (47 percent).
13. Give scud work to the object of their hate (44 percent).
14. Actively work to sabotage the person's contribution to a team goal and reward (40 percent)

Fighting back isn't always the best option because, while sexual harassment is illegal, bullying tends to be brushed under the rug by companies.  WBI found that 31.3% of bullied employees lost their jobs and, of the employees who complained to a supervisor, 37% of them suffered an increase in negative behavior after reporting the abuse. But what about the bully? The same research found that 54% of companies did nothing to the bully. So instead of getting suited up for battle, try these suggestions:

• Don't start a guerilla war to win over coworkers to your "side". Let the value of your actions speak about your character, just as a bully's does about them.
• A bully wants others to fail; it makes them feel better about themselves. Don't give them the satisfaction. Work to the best of your ability because doing well in spite of them leaves them defeated.
• Realize it's them and not you. While often tough to realize in the face of constant scorn, you know your true worth, don't let someone else make you doubt who you are.
• Make sure supervisors know the value of your work. Bullies like to undercut the credibility of others and often report the smallest mistake, or something that could be seen that way, to bosses. Your actions are stronger than their words.
• Keep up workplace relationships in the face of the bully's isolation efforts.

Jury Duty is frequently described as the fifth ring of hell, not the fire and brimstone type or the icy breath of Dante's hell, but the mind numbing frustration of DMV hell. But I kinda enjoyed it.

Federal law prohibits anyone from the possibility of firing, or even being bullied with the threat of being fired, or even being intimidated for reporting to jury duty. What federal law doesn't protect from is boredom or from an employer docking your pay .   In Missouri and Kansas it isn't illegal for employers to dock their employees pay for time spent reporting for jury duty. However, the Bureau of Labor Statistics report that 87% of employers still dole out the greenbacks if their employees are selected to be on a jury, which is important because I had to pay for my own parking ($9), lunch ($12) @ Cupini's , and was given a whopping $7.82 by the courts for my fulfilling my civic duty. A measly amount, by the way, that supposedly hasn't changed in over 40 years.

That was the downside. The upside was how much I actually enjoyed the process. I lugged along three different books, including the dreaded textbook for the course at Park I'm teaching, and spent an afternoon being shuffled from room to room, being asked  a gaggle of standard questions,  reading, and getting a first class tour of the court system without having to sweat about losing my freedom.

The court staff was amusing, engaging, and appreciative of the effort we 200 some odd citizens were making to adhere to our civic duty. It was those qualities that turned around my major league pout after having to dish out money for parking.  It's tough to be a complete sourpuss in the face of such qualities, particularly when the weight of someone's freedom rests in your hands.

It only takes 5% of a group's members to lead the other 95% around by the nose, according to researchers from the University of Leeds, which leads me to wonder if teamwork is mostly just about people following? Evidently, according to a study originally from Duke University that Psychology Today highlights. The study highlights the more actions people perform together the greater the possibility they are to all act alike. Taken together the two studies suggest the more we do with coworkers the more likely we are to mirror each other and it doesn't take much for us to follow, and you know what is said about not being the lead sled dog?

That unless you're in the lead, the view never changes.

"I'm sorry" can be the simplest and, at the same time, the hardest words to utter. Apologies, at times, are almost instinctive here in the Midwest. Step on a stranger's toes while crossing the street and "I'm sorry" is rolling off our tongues before we even know it. In the span of a few heartbeats an insult can be born and forgotten but, given a little time, a change can creep over us to ruin our sense of fair play.
The more time we marinate on events leading up to an apology, the more doubt can creep in. Right and wrong are subjective terms determined by any number of things and given time people can, and often do, convince themselves of their own innocence. But mistakes are rarely one sided.
Mistakes are made on both sides of an argument or problem, by both parties. Feeling anger over how we are treated blinds us to the part we played in the heat of the moment. Even if we truly believe that 99% is the other person's fault, it's really important to look for that 1% that belongs to us. You don't have to apologize for something you didn't do, but you can for the things, no matter how tiny, that you could have been better at.
In a nutshell, the obstacle is ego. Feeling a blow to our pride when admitting a mistake is natural but an inability to apologize sometimes means we've attached our personality onto our actions. It seems to make sense that "we are what we do" but, that line of thinking heads towards a cliff. It is impossible to be "right" all the time but if we believe we are incapable of failure, then admitting a mistake is admitting we are the failure.  Check out these nifty suggestions to effective apologies:

• Avoid trying to "stick the knife in": Planting a sickly sweet or passive aggressive sentence in your apology only makes things worse. A line like: "I'm sorry you were offended" is not asking for forgiveness. It's accusing the other person of being too sensitive.
• Try not to make a joke: The other person may not see the issue as a joking matter and making light of the situation can intensify resentment.
• Don't trap yourself: Promising to never again do something can be setting you up for failure, so pledge to work harder in the future. Maybe even ask for their help with recognizing the early stages of the difficulty to prevent the issue from getting out of hand in the future.
• Avoid passivity: Saying "mistakes were made" is very different than: "I made a mistake"
• Don't shirk responsibility: Blaming company policy, a higher-up, or a subordinate is cowardly. Either accept responsibility for your actions, or don't.
• Talk about how the problem led to a change in policy or thinking: Explain what steps you've made to prevent the problem from happening again.
• Ask them what can be done to make up for the current problem: This is a ginourmous step in the road to recovery. Granted it may not always be possible but at least attempting to make amends speaks volumes about your intent to avoid a repeat of the problem.
• Prove your apology by changing your actions: Words don't mean squat if a person's behaviors doesn't match them. Follow through on your offer to make good by taking to steps to do so.
• Give the offended party room to respond: Allowing them to vent, within the boundaries of good taste, can allow them to feel a sense of resolution. When giving others room to vent I follow what I call the rule of three, which simply is that a when a person begins to repeat themselves for the third time, step in and wrap things up.
• Don't pressure someone for forgiveness: We all want to be absolved of our guilt, but it really isn't up to us. Our responsibility ends with our apology and attempts to make sure the problem doesn't rear its ugly head again. If the other party doesn't forgive you after everything is said and done, then that says more about who they are then who you are.
• Get over it: Resentments are a cancer. They slowly eat at us, but rarely harm the person being resented. Letting go of anger and resentments is a soothing balm on angry feelings.

On a good day I screw up at least a half dozen times and on a bad day, the proverbial smelly storm can almost drown me in its foul shower. It is almost impossible to avoid stepping on someone else's toes as we walk through life. Often a simple apology and acknowledgement of our responsibility can prompt the other person into admitting their responsibility in the issue and apologize to you in return, and begin the healing process.

Is choice a choice?

Does action come before decision? Do our bodies make up our minds? Did I really slip on a pair of spandex shorts before I considered the potential for social suicide this morning? Several studies try and answer this very question. The question that every egghead from Aristotle to Simone de Beauvoir has failed to find the answer to:
Does free will exist? 
Not a huge surprise these researchers failed to answer the age old question, but what was surprising was what they did come up. William Banks and Eve Isham came together to research whether what we see or hear impacts our knowledge of having made a decision. Their study found that a distraction has a bigger effect on when we believe we've made a decision than the actual time when the decision was made.  In other words; we aren't always in touch with when or how we've come to a decision. Theoretically at least.  
The findings were interesting but confusing. Granted, human behavior isn't easy to distill down but in the end the choice to wear spandex, or not, resides in us all. Slipping them on may have been somewhat unconscious, but reality quickly set in along with the decision to toss those hip hugging spandex shorts back to the bowels of the closet from whence the came. And that was all my decision.

Work rests on the shoulders of leaders and, without a strong hand on the rudder, work becomes aimless. What separates a great, from a not so-great leader, isn't always clear and what makes someone a leader can be as elusive as a greased pig. That being said, I'll still try to corner the idea and outline what makes people willfully, and sometimes gladly, follow someone else's mandates. Leadership theories can be broken down into three very broad categories:

Universalist theories all believe that all great leaders share key traits and that these traits will emerge to make a leader successful regardless of the situation. The great man or woman theory puts forward that some people are just born with the innate ability to lead, while others were born devoid of the ability. The trait theory suggests that there are characteristics, or personality attributes that all effective leaders have in common. The main weakness of these theories is in their simplicity and the focus on individual leader characteristics rather than group dynamics, not to mention the inability to learn how to be a leader.

Behavioral theories look directly at the behavior of leaders rather than some innate quality that defines their ability to lead. Two qualities emerge, according to researchers mainly out of Ohio State and the University of Michigan, that highlight quality leadership behavior:
Task oriented behaviors: leaders help the people under them figure out what the heck they are supposed to do and then oversee day to day group activities with an eye towards a bigger picture. The focus of leaders in this model is towards goal attainment.
People-orientated behaviors: focuses on social interactions among workers and making sure that the workplace is warm and fuzzy instead of harsh and toxic, because happy workers are productive workers. The goal of this type of leader is to look out for the people underneath them and make sure they are supported enough to do their job.

Contingency theories state the effectiveness of a leader depends on how well they mesh, or don't mesh, with their environment. A leader must be flexible enough to determine, what type/ style of leadership is needed from situation to situation. According the this theory there is no one universal leadership theory, rather leadership is a Swiss army knife and a great leader knows enough to not use the corkscrew attachment to open a can of whooping.??? The four types of leader behavior are: Directive, achievement-orientated, supportive, or participative.

Any successful entrepreneur has been called crazy at some point, or told their "harebrained schemes" were doomed to fail. To make it towards a dream job, everyone will have to get past naysayers at some point. But just how much does someone have to push/cajole/dissuade a person to give up the ghost on their dreams? Check out this research on how much negativity it takes for some to give up on their career dreams.